Baby sister summed up the measure of my feelings the last week or so in a recent email to me and Twin.
Alright, my lovelies! Supposedly according to Twin we can have a 3-way video chat on Google+. Your assignment: set yourself up a Google+ account (it's easy, just go to the top right side of your screen in Gmail and there's a + button), and then tell us when a good time is to talk in the next week. I miss my sisters, dammit, and I'd like to actually talk to both of you at once for a change. Make. It. Happen.
PS - I'm free Tuesday morning (until about 1:30p, then I have to go to class; that's 8:30p D-time and 11:30a Twin time), and Weds after about 2p (noon for Twin, 9p for D). Thursday I'm open after about 1p. I'm available in the morning on Saturday.
Love you's guys!!!!
- Magoo
No seriously, stop dicking around reading your email and get yourself set the crap up on Google+!!!!
She cracks me up because (a) I am on Google+ and (b) normally I'm the one who gets to boss Twin around.
The husband had to see the glorious evidence of my state of mind Saturday night. After a delicous, exhilerating and somewhat exhausting game of scramble I started crying. (Please make a note, I rarely cry. I'm like the angsty teen that when her heart is being ripped out of her chest she wants to bawl but her tears have abandoned her and she is left with the stoic aloof face. Be assured I am generally a mess on the inside.) He was little baffled like wha-? How did we go from That! to that!! Well I'm a girl and our brains are erratic and noodly and I don't possess the 'Thinking of Nothing' box to hide in!
It's just a culmination of many things. I asked him to reassure me that somehow, sometime the whole adopt/broken ovaries/barren womb thing would sort itself into a parenting situation. Husband's opinion always trumps the misguided but kindhearted platitudes that often meet my deaf ears. It's not intentional they are just beyond over cliched at times.
I told him that Magoo and I were more than a little jealous and homesick because we are both 1/2 way around the world from our kin. And although we are blessed with cool and loving 'local' friends and inlaws - they aren't our kin. They don't understand us from the skinned knees, puberty, heartbroken stages of our youth to present. Nights of signing and whispering in the dark so our parents wouldn't catch us. Softball in the yard. Having hours upon hours of lawn mowing competitions. First husbands, deaths of family, births of the youth.
Another friend is PCSing. It seemed like I lost a part of my soul when I had to leave the closest friend I had met in my adult life at the last base, and the military in turn has taken her family to Oki. Now the 2nd closest friend I have met is moving to the states tomorrow while we will still be in the Germany for the next 2years. I want to clone myself and mail my bits to Oki, Maryland, Illinois, Oregon and leave a golden bit for Husband's pocket ... but alas it's not his fault the government doesn't share well with others.
So the funk I am in. I'm sure it will die down soon. In the mean time I will use Twin's face as a goal that eventually I too can lose 40+ pounds and look skinny cute like 11+ years ago when we were married. If not my dart arm will be so ripped that the hubby will be jealous.