Dear Sams.ung Gal.xy.
It has been brought to my attention that your service, as of late, has been sorely lacking.
First, today you put my BFF on hold mid-chat to call another friend, without my request. I realized at the 'Unhold' 'Three-way calling?' ' 'Call Disconnect!' that we had issues. As soon as I got that straightened out, but a mere five minutes later, you decided to put her on hold AGAIN and contact the base hair salon.
Second, your internet service is shite. I put my iPh.ne 3GS simcard in you in the hopes that your internet service would somewhat make due for the next 11 weeks while waiting for my contract renewal and obtaining a working fresh iPh.ne 4. You are a dim comparison to the glory of instant FB access and my beautiful TxtFree aps. Instagram is a faint memory and the fact that you hold 3 digital photos, sans a memory card, instead of the 16g 'harddrive' I'm used too could make me want to cry. Twitter? Typepad? Bing? YouTube? You may have a Widget but they aren't actually functional at any operating rate.
Need I remind you of the abuse heaped on the iPh.ne? Sure it may have started with the accidental screen shattering at the Keno but the subsequent drops, kicks and smacks will be a dim memory of childsplay to the discipline you will be receiving. Ever hear of a swirly? I will flush you so fast you will end up in a 3rd world country and be split up for food credit parts. A family could live off your glory for years.
If the previous issues don't take the cake your fat fingering digital screen is a joke. I didn't think to doublecheck and realize you don't have a hard keyboard. I look at the T9 crosseyed and 'Hey Friend!' comes out 'Dump Truck Love.' Let alone the A-Z keyboard that randomly inserts "!(&#%%..." and "Send!" Come on like I would really just send the words 'So', 'To' and 'Though' instead of a full message?
Oh phone. If you could have one redeeming factor it would be that your speaker actually works fairly well and you don't shut off sporadically and your mic works. Those are very legit but still sad factors.
I'm going to blog and twitter via my computer now. I'm afraid if I tried to Twitter 'Another crazy day in the funny farm' it would turn out 'Momma loves chocolate cake.' Why Sams.ung? Why?!?!
Once again bitch-slapped by technology,
Darla
This child is crying because he understands the need for instant digital gratification everywhere! The dream of unsecured wi-fi clouds and affordably replaceable iPhone parts is a reality in places like Neverland!
