Dear Darla Diaries

you think you're hilarious don't you

Some new suggestion for blog titles based on our current PCS-to-Germany experience:

• PCSing Out of Country: It Ain't Cheap Or Easy
• Ramstein: PCS or Bust
• Orders to Germany: Hock the Kids and Sell the Pigs
• Please Hand Over All Your Money And The PCS Will Begin
• PCS-land: Where Optimistic and Pessimistic Run Hand and Hand
• It Ain't Called A Bitch Slap For Nothing
• Permanent Change of Station? Permanent Call of Sanity
• Why the Weak Eat Their Young
• Why Are We Doing This Again?
• Just a Few More Reminders That You Haven't Donated Enough Money To The Cause
• One Headache Or Two?
• Military Pay: They Giveth And Taketh Away
• How Many Charges Can Be Racked Up On One Move
• The Damn Cat: Costs More Than Your Mother To Move
• We Have Orders To Where? I'm Pretty Sure I Burned Them ...

riding the countdown taxi

Less than four weeks until we step foot onto foreign soil for probably one of the biggest adventures in our married life (and my life in general) and I'm finally finding support groups. I found a Ramstein (KMC) group at http://cinchouse.com and a yahoo group (which I had never really looked at before.) Now I'm peppering them with questions like mad and hoping to settle my frazzled nerves. It's a little eye raising when the constant feedback is things like 'expect to shuttle constantly between the bases', 'expect to pay a lot more than you do now,' 'try and avoid on-base housing all together' and the like. It's especially wonky when it's not like you get a choice. It's kind of like 'can we please skip all the standard pessimistic disclosures that we can assume come with foreign base PCS and get on with all the day-to-day importance.' I am still desperately searching for feedback on my new job enviroment as well as little things like 'what do the off base houses look like?', 'how big is the average one?' (I don't mind small but will 3 adults be tripping over each other?,' 'how soon can we have internet hooked up again?' and 'is walking possible from off base housing to the base?' As luck would have it I am highly looking forward to a lot of walking, which I see is the case for a lot of areas over there. That would solve my working out drama in a hurry. Kind of like natural selection. As you can see from this post sleep is eluding me like a wet dream and my things like this week's work visit from my boss isn't helping either. Somehow her work load and expectations are just climbing my last 12 days on-the-job.

p.s. Talk about small country fish in a big pond. Going from a h.s. grad class of 37 to one of the biggest military communities outside the continental U.S. My gawgeous friends can tell me all they want how well I'm going to do but somehow I think shellshock could easily describe my first 6 months in country.

celullite is just celullite

So in the midst of a the mighty moving falderal I stumbled into a revealing celebrity gem of magnificent proportions. Besides, bills can be such a such a droll, especially when finally being environmentally correct and setting up e-statements or changing the billing address to my parents so they won't get lost by the wayside when we leave country. My favorite is making sure all the payoffs are correct and things are canceled when they should and all that sort of rubbish. Deep sigh. But it will all be done eventually one way or another so just take one step after another and maybe throw in a little Pirate jack processing all the way. If you see the world in Alice.In.Wonderland.Pirates technicolor it's a much easier pill to swallow.

So the celebrity gem ... a little editorial bit from a BlogHer contributor who brought up the current transformation of beauty of Jess.ica Simp.son and Brit.ney Sp.ears. The part that especially intrigued me was in regards to Brit.ney. The photo posted by the HeraldSun in Australia showed side-by-side photos of her raw and retouched for a Candies ad and supposedly at her request.

The part that piqued my curiosity and interest the most was the untouched photos. Real Brit.ney is trailer park and mall beauty as they come. She could be working side-by-side with you at the Piggly Wiggly and if she hadn't already been a paparazzi-icon she wouldn't be selected for ANTM let alone any kind of signing sensation for this current generation. I know girls that daily have far more beauty and sex appeal without makeup, photoshop or a pink swimsuit and stilletos. The saddest part of all is that if she would've just been a one-shot wonder she could've faded into the limelight to enjoy her life with an occasional album. She's created a monster that perhaps only a life of philanthropy and small nowheresville living on organic vegan food could cure. If she allowed herself the innocent bliss of Ali.cia Si.l.verstone perhaps. Its just a sad sad thing.

So I guess in the midst of things not so unusual or different it's a bit refreshing to see that underneath the spanx, lacquer and digital reimaging ... if you feed them the celebrities are just like you and I.

as if you didn't know ...

this one's for the gipper

My little Alfie-pants hijacked stole borrowed my camera and took some rockin' whacky photos of our little Easter event which included a dark-outside-flashlight egg hunt, arcade time and some plane vandalism tourist photos. Click on my whackadoodle face for some of the bits. [And she says she can't take snapshots as well as me ... right.]

the next four weeks flew by in the last five minutes

My normally far more side-tractable MrD just spewed out a very organized action plan of the next 5 weeks leading up to our relocation to Ramstein. My left eye was twi-twi-twitching and drool was slowly escaping the right side of my mouth. Ironically it's not the getting or adapting to Germany that is disturbing me nearly as much the amount of things needing to be accomplished between work, home, family and the like in a very short amount of time.

Pardon me while I spew nervous anxious and slightly excited energy all over my laptop. There. All better. The cooking therapy is also enjoyable. Nothing like grilling up italian dressing marinated chicken, baked tators and delicious pico-guac-n-chips to soothe the belly. Nom nom nom. Love me some food!

i say everything in a yelling tone because it makes me feel better

MrD: so it looks like we are going to germany 

me: i hate you

MrD: i hate you too

me: so we're going?

MrD: yep

me: and mom too?

MrD: and mom too

me: i guess

me: i love you

MrD: i know

me: i had kinda convinced myself we weren't going due to all the falderal

shandipants: i had kinda convinced myself that too

alfie: i'm still convinced i will be breaking MrD's legs and ya ain't leaving the country

shandipants: peanut butter will fix it!

[peanut butter = too much easter candy shared between alfie and shandipants]

come on ... just a little nibble

Dear Military People in Charge of Important Information,

I'd really appreciate it if you stopped side-stepping, subject changing and chewing on eraser tips to explain to my husband if we are approved to PCS to Germany in 6 weeks.

I'd also appreciate it if you consider Active Duty Military Dependants more important than lawn flamingos or spare furniture. My employers, for instance, consider my job with them fairly important and slightly complicated to replace. (Which is slightly ironic since it's Human Resources.)

Last, but not least, as much as I think I would find it slightly amusing to hear if we're going to Germany the day before the moving truck arrives ... it's really not. Not even a little. Watching paint dry has more appeal.

From one slightly disgruntled woman who's patience is wearing thin,
Darla

the military will make me gray

My patience is wearing extremely thin. Friday was supposed to be d-day. It was supposed to be the day where Ramstein called and gave us our approval state.

What some of you non-military folk may not realize is that PCSing or Permanent Change of Station (change of your duty-station or home or where your spouse is stationed with dependents) is a little more complicated than just 'here's your orders and have a nice day.' If you have dependents it also involves making sure the new base can accommodate any restrictions your dependents may have. If you move out of country it is a very involved process that ensures the new base can meet any medical, dental and psychological needs of the dependent. In our case can they accommodate a dependent with a mid-to-end state Krohn's disease. Do they have the supplies and medications needed should an emergency arrive.

Nearly two months ago myself and MrD were cleared for our possible end-of-May move to Germany. We passed all the medical, emotional and dental checks. We were ready to get orders cut. Than, a two-year dependency struggle came to a close when we finally achieved a dependent status with his mom or the MIL. This was a huge achievement because now not only can we care for her financially and emotionally but also in the military status, which allows her to live with us and have medical and other dependent care. However, with that approval came a hiccup. She had to be ran through the same medical, dental and psychological tests we did.

Now we wait. MrD is being told that Ramstein had a 14-day window to review her papers and let him know if they were giving him clearance for orders. This will also tell us if they will not accept her paperwork. If that happens than we remain at our current base, in our current job, etc. Our time frame was up on the 5th ... it is now the 7th.

At this point we are equally excited about Ramstein and partially releaved to possibly be staying here. This limbo stage is just excruciating. If we go there are still quite a few things that we need to have accomplished and aren't looking forward to a 6-week time limitation to do it in. Also, my work is sitting on their hands waiting to post my position, which is vital to this base as well.

I think I see a gray hair. I'm sure MrD has a few but who can tell when your hair shorn so close to your head?

MrD talked to someone local yesterday who said they would check with Ramstein and 'call him' with an update. Today they are allowing him to pick up his mom's passport but that still doesn't confirm or deny our possible move. To add salt into the wound he has also gone to numerous meetings in regards to our PCS and still has more to attend. Blargh ... I can't quite embrace the 'maybe' with that much enthusiam.

So we wait ... the motto of the military: Hurry up and wait. 

why i love Bones!

I didn't mean to say that out loud! I just thought it so hard it just POPPED out of my mouth!