1. A 32 oz sugar free iced cherry coconut Monster tastes much better all over my desk once I’ve popped a hole in the bottom of the cup
2. Being an a$$ does not make you qualified to be OWED an employment position. My expectations aren’t that high.
3. The phrase “I should AT LEAST be able to get a job WITH YOU, as if we hire any Tom, Dick or Harry to walk in the door sans any qualifications what.so.ever, isn’t helping your cause either. We have standards, but apparently you must be too short to see the bar.
4. Nothing causes quite as much havoc as my kitty in a head cone and no sense of depth perception. Nic-a-knacks will fall. Water glasses will be tipped. Walls will get dented. Food will be knocked asunder.
5. Never underestimate the power of irrational power-laden military political leaders and the amount of shit they can bury their deployed airmen with.
6. I don’t think my fellow HR people would understand my desire to work in ripped up sweats and a green Mohawk.
7. One man’s perception of the length of 60 days and another man’s view on 2 months time can vary greatly. All 1,440 hours of it. All 86,4000 minutes of it. All 5,184,000 seconds of it.
8. It might be time to take a break from WoW when you start having nightmares about falling asleep during game play and pissing off guild mates and strangers. [I actually woke myself thinking a keyboard was in my lap and people were yelling at me over vent(internet voice chat.) Addict!]
9. Sometimes it is almost illegal the amount of fun that can be had at work. If it is considered enough to be illegal may I be excused?
10. Just because you lick windows, wear a helmet, ride the special bus and eat crayons doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Just expect a few unwarranted looks from the other elitist snobs that live in our bubble.
