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So as I collapse into an exhausted heap after a hectic two days of mass interviewing at the new job for holiday help, a whirlwind of four days with my visiting bff and two children and our first adult costumed Halloween party, I managed to squeeze out a new photo montage.
Hope you like it!
xoxo
Darla
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My BFF Em is coming into town tomorrow for a weekend visit and adult Halloween bash. My first costumed party ever I might add. We're going as harajuku girls while Mr. D is donning the Friar Tuck look. Now around working is the typical much ado about nothing we all do when guests are arriving, like a little mopping, scrubbing and vacuuming galore.
Happy Hallow's Eve ya'll.
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The first day of the food log isn't as pretty and shiny as expected. Not to mention that the overexpenditure on Halloween goods for next weekend kinda makes me cringe.
5 oz of apple juice
breakfast cocktail: 1 metformin, 1 zyrtec d, 1 folic acid
1 jimmie dean's freezer egg mcmuffin breakfast sandwich
20 oz h20
1/2 chicken n veggie stuffed calzone from last night's dinner at Tomato Street
3 tablespoons ranch dressing
1 almond joy candy bar
8 oz dr. pepper
20 oz h20
1 black bean burger patty
1 fried egg
1/8 c. salsa
20 oz h20
60 minute workout: "filthy fifty" from crossfit, including 1 mile run, 250 row
water intake: much improved!
caloric intake: not counting
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Side note in the infertility world: My girl Sarah has been hitting the nail right on the head the last few days of all the extreme pains and aches that circle the wagon during these trying times. She, sadly to say, has been lucky enough to get pregnant but not fully bear her precious fruit. Please go to her site and wrap your arms around her for me. She deserves it.
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My RE appointment was a rousing success. I never thought I would truly appreciate or be comfortable with a male OBGYN but Dr. Bo is my Dr. McDreamy. He’s fantastic and probably the first person over 50, with the exception of Steve McQueen that I’ve had a complete teenage crush on. To be able to say that after a very comprehensive exam, including impromptu breast and pelvic, and woman part thesis is just incredibly hard to describe [sigh] I'm in love.
Here’s the long and the short of it. Dr. Bo gave me the most extensive foray into the fertility world than all the blog researching and prior physician visits, lab works and other procedures combined. In 90 minutes he connected the dots from all the pieces I didn’t know as well as the all the pieces I should have been informed of by the “hobby-shop-doc” or base women’s health office. It was so enlightening. Based on my verbal results of past procedures and the doctors very extensive knowledge he’s narrowed it down to possibly three items, initially:
Over the next few weeks my complete records package from the base clinic will be arriving to him, and Dr. Bo will be further assessing my situation. If he decides to alter my prescribed meds or thinks we’re attacking this situation wrong he’ll call and let me know.
The current plan of attack in a nutshell:
If we aren’t successful after four rounds than we look into options 2 and 3 above.
Essentially what we learned from the hobby shop was that the high rounds of Clomid may be effective, however, there’s a good chance I wasn’t ovulating anywhere the “window” they had told me to have sex in. And if my insulin levels are too high, in combination with that, it was affecting my ovulation window and possibly preventing any weight loss. In his little thesis, with quite awesome hand drawn graphics I might add, he showed me that I will always ovulate 14 days prior to my following cycle. So if my cycle was 45 days for instance, I wasn’t ovulating until day 31. That’s 16 days past the narrow 7 day window we were forcing sex through. Ah, it all became abundantly clear. This was not explained to me before. So, taking that into consideration, he wants me to use the home ovulation kit so we know when the 12-24 hr window is and we aren’t taking stabs in the dark. Even though it’s so much fun!
Dr. Bo also gave me a standing order for the post Clomid “day-21” lab panel. This will show him how effective the Clomid is treating me. After he gets my past results back and the first of this round he’ll take into consideration possibly increasing the dosage from 100mg, depending on the progesterone levels. This is also another test that we had been doing incorrectly. That means the progesterone results of level 1 may have been correct, or it could have been that low because that is what it should be, PRIOR TO OVULATION. Yes “day-21” is actually a deceptive phrase. What it should be is a “7-day-post-ovulation” panel. Refer to the prior graph to see how much fun the prior 5 rounds of blood work have been.
The third piece (fourth?) to this little puzzle is weight loss. The working out isn’t enough. His recommendation, and many fertility sites agree, that the healthier the weight levels the lower the insulin levels and the better chance of being pregnant and having a healthier baby. (Trust me this only made me gnash my teeth knowing how many friends I have that make my meager 185-193lb size look very normal or petite and that’s before they gave birth/conceived with multiple children.) He’s right though, I would feel better and I’ve known this for a very long time. Sometimes you just need the doctor to give you a swift kick in the arse as incentive. So beginning this weekend I’m throwing myself utterly and completely into the hands of WeightWatchers.com. And I’m dragging my friend and work out buddy Shandi with me. She’s very excited. I place sole blame on my decision to follow this particular plan on the very successful results of my friend Loser Girl.
Ooh and lest I forget, while I’m all into this self-improvement and infertility obsession, I also ordered a 30 trail of Proactiv. Friend suggested and the testimonials by the bigwig celebs seem to agree on it being the divine answer to even skin tone. Since I always run around sans any makeup, moisturizer only, continual slight blemishes and discolorations are a big deal. Thanks as always for all the support. I gave huge kudos to my online support network of buddies to Dr. Bo. You aren’t forgotten!
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Ø Fertile myrtle? Finally got a RE scheduled. Wednesday afternoon will be my get-to-know-ya appointment with a real fertility doctor. I'm jittery and excited and nervous and thank goodness a little distracted with the j.o.b. It was so incredible to actually see the words "fertility" and "excessive bleeding" on the phone book advertisement. When I called and got an informative nursing assistant and found they actually use my insurance I nearly swooned. So Wednesday is hopefully somewhat productive and fingers crossed it doesn't take at least another 12 months to go nowhere in the production of a bambino.
Ø Book worm: Does anyone besides me have a running narrative/monologue in their head? There's this book scrap that keeps running through mine. It tends to start with the phrase "I wish he would" or "I wish I would." The blushing virgin inside me is almost to shy to admit that it tends to run more carnally graphic in nature. Since Mr. D is a voracious reader but my oral words aren't nearly as clean as written, I thought it'd be cool to write my own tips/tricks as a present. After all, it's not every girl that may want to draw a road map. Even an expert like my talented boy could hone his skills on occasion. Goodness knows I tend to want to.
My bff challenged me to write it blog style. More than likely it may be another concept that runs half completed. I am notorious for those. Hey, we all have our tics. That may be a little TMI, but it is my blog and I like overshare.
Ø Time in a bottle: I wish this new job wasn't quite so consuming. At three weeks I still feel like I'm inches away from having it down to the ebb and flow. I'm not quite into a knowledgeable routine and I'm just behind the eight ball. They tell me I'm running at the same pattern they're used to from my predecessor. My over achieving nature isn't proud of that at all, since I know my potential and I know I can be so much more than that. I don't know about anyone else but if a part of my life isn't balanced it seems to affect everything else. Thus resulting in my distracted blogging, friendships and even spousal support.
Ø Game head: I'm getting cranky with my puter because the daily WoW patches to keep the game updated is slooooowing it down due to lack of space. Anyone have any tips with purchasing external hard drives. My indecision is crippling me. For a bright girl sometimes I can be a little hesitant.
Ø Skin question: Anyone got any expertise in the over-the-counter dermatology field? I have consistent semi-blotchiness and the hint of minor acne. Is ProActive really the product all the infomercials hype it up to be or is there another OTC item that everyone swears by? Anyone? Halp me!
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question: what does a unicorn and pregnancy have in common in my life?
I forgot how time consuming getting to know a new occupation can be. Human Resources is an occupation of layers within layers within layers. Due to the fact I am a slight overachiever it's aggravating to have to redo some basic tasks because I really want them done perfectly the first time. It's hard to do a job perfect when you continue to learn it in bits and pieces and don't always fully understand how it connects together. The leg bones connected to the thigh bone. Bump, bump ba bump, bump, bump.
In the midst of this slight tornado that seems to be consuming my thoughts like a vortex I got my first ever and very last minute, business trip tomorrow to the west side of the state. Just a little over night venture for benefit training. I'm very excited.
I also didn't realize I left some of you hanging on the last post. My body is still staging a coup. Days 14 - 28 instead of ovulating I had a weird discharge. My mense, though on time, has been uglier than normal and a little long. Now I'm fidgeting my way through booking a RE appointment and hoping we can finally get answers to the body dysfunctionality. Could be another month before we have answers I'm afraid.
I texted Mr. D on Friday, "if this keeps up we'll
have to remove the ovaries and just adopt." His reply, God bless his
soul "if that's what you want." And let me just say that boy really
wants to be a dad, like a toddler wants to be an NFL star or college kid wants to win the lottery.
It's a hard stage to come to grips with the
fact that you thought you could choose your kids. I wanted to be
pregnant with four children, depending on if we had multiples. It
seemed possible. Normal people, my friends, family and acquaintances
did it, DO IT, all the time. Seemed simple. Now I'm just wanting to be pregnant
once, and I never thought I'd say this but if I can only bear one than
one it should be. Can't I have just one?
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As if I wasn't already aware of the fact, my body needed to reiterate this morning how unnormal it really is. I just would've appreciated that not being today. 10th day on the new job. And the boss is in town. And she's now manning my office for a few hours until my ovaries either settle down or the doctor tweaks it. If that doesn't make you feel all warm and cuddly. It also makes me think that if this is the first cycle following an unmedicated cycle maybe the ovaries really are having issues. Fan-flippin-tastic.
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