Dear Darla Diaries

uno, dos, tres

Part One: Spousal communication etiquette

Let me preface this post by emphasizing that I do not find domestic violence amusing. The last time my former brother-in-law thought it was acceptable to choke my twin in front of me I nearly pummeled him while holding my than-6-week-old nephew on a hip. Seeing or hearing stories of such occasions make my blood boil, steam seep from my ears and red to cross my vision. This is not about that. Also keep in mind that I swear Mr. D and I are Italians in spirit because we're always loud and boisterous and very passionate.

So when I came home from the gym tonight my street was blocked by no less than four base police vehicles. Security officers were standing in pairs in the driveway, house entrance and on both sides of the street. The main crowd was at the duplex directly across from ours. I got out of my friend's car at the corner, due to my inability to breech the street, and ran across our neighbors lawn and into my house. After boisterously pointing out the situation Mr. D went out and joined the neighbor under our joint tree to check out the commotion.

In serious hushed tones they were discussing what had been happening, who was being arrested, etc, etc. I came out to join them and the discussion got quite interesting.

Me to neighbor Brad: So what's going on?

Brad: I'm not sure but when I saw you come running across the lawn I thought it was you! I thought damn she's coming to our house, what happened did your husband beat you and you just ran around the block?

Me: That's funny cause I thought they were here for you. About an hour ago, before the gym, I heard all sorts of noise coming from your house. When I recognized you and the wife's voice I disregarded it for being the same petty b.s. we squabble about. I mean damn, if ya'll are in trouble for that we are screwed!

Brad: No doubt! Hell I yell at my wife all the time good to know I should shut the window first if sound echoes that well.

Me: Ha, you know it's going to be a good "talk" when windows are slamming first.

Part Two: Farewell M.A.S.H. 4077

Great and slightly poignant news. As of Monday, September 22, I will no longer be employed with the boisterous crew at the "MASH 4077". I will have to be someone else's Radar and I'm sure it won't be the same.

I fell backwards into a job interview last week. An interview for a very decent clerical position on base. In many ways it's quite the asset, the least of which being (a) not working for the pharisees (b) not spending over $50 per week in gas (c) not getting up at the crack of dawn for the 45 minute commute or (d) the evil winter driving conditions. Oh and did I mention a slight raise?

Mr. D is ecstatic. That in itself almost makes the slight nervousness of starting back at the "newbie" stage not so bad. He's amped about all the points above and the fact that I get real time off benefits again (that accrue as we go) and then there's the bit that we can have lunch during his graveyard shift. 45 minutes to connect that we don't have currently. Yippee!

The new job does come with some greater responsibilities like being responsible for 8 facilities and hiring people, not just referring them, and the fact that I'll be the sole HR person at this location, but it's nothing a little training can't fix. I had to actually remind myself that I'm 29 now. The jitters of the 18 year-old can be pushed aside for a moment.

My boss is pouting in his fun cheeky way. He's trying to decide if he should "accidentally" saran wrap me to my office chair or just lock me in a closet so I can't escape. The security guy is suggesting burying me in the ground up to my neck. I can type with a pencil between my lips. But don't stop there, you could just flatten my bike tires and take away my birthday! They really are sweet boys, and I will miss them! And by boys I mean they're my father's age which makes it all the more cute. Wait til the production staff of 600 or my dozen supervisors catch wind of it, the next 10 days should be very very interesting.

Part three: no baby yet
Haven't started doing the pee ovulation tests yet but can I say that non-pregnancy-pressured sex is ridiculously wonderful? Yea, I'm spoiled rotten and know it. I was feeling utterly hopeless and depressed last night and Mr. D took it upon himself to "help" me out. Best night's sleep I've had in a very long time. Sad that the pressure has weaned our normally very satisfying sack life to aggravating and chore like. (And yes, we spent the first 6 years without any birth control or any ANY any demands on us at all. We've tried that too.) So as I mentioned already, this pressure free thing is exhilarating.

lincoln logs

Take a moment and smell the roses ... or wood grain.
I'm in the mood to slow down ... breathe again ... and be inspired by the little things around me.

oh no he didn't

In what is becoming quite the habit of late, we hit the UFC fight night at a mil-friend's house with quite the posse (well we were 2 of a posse). Unlike previous fight nights this one had a few bonuses.

Number 1. Two stories.
Our friends have an awesome split level which gave the girls room to play Phase10 up stairs and the boys and a some girls and kids space to be loud with the brawl down stairs.

Number 2. Live brawling.
Our friends have a very convenient back yard that is both overlooked by a patio off the girls gaming area and accessible from the boys tv romper room. This yard became the site for an impromptu UFC throw down after the live throw down. It was all fun and games until one of them forgot how to play nice and threw some punches instead of just the ultimate fighting mma grappling. They hadn't been trying to hurt each other, but as is the case after copious amounts of alcohol and live fighting, sometimes they just forget. No permanent harm, no foul.

Number 3. New toys.
One of the only non-military connected guests to the party is a licensed bounty hunter. He brought a new toy to the show that had all the boys atwitter. He brought the taser. I'll just put it this way, he laid a $100 bill on the line for anyone that could be tasered and either grab the taser or try to grab the bill off the ground. Two men caved to the pain, or as Mr.D called it a "great time." Yea, he was one of those that caved. No I didn't find it funny or awesome as the majority of those did. Could've been my sober state, my bitchy attitude or my just overall love and concern for the boy. I couldn't watch. It instigated a brawl but  we survived.

Anyone else have a great weekend?

ode to the 5k

Shall we run the whole 5k?
Shall we run drinking lemonade?
Shall we run it when we dance?
Shall we run it with no pants?
Shall we run it in our sleep?
Shall we run it like a meet?
Shall we run it in the rain?
Shall we run it without pain?
Shall we run it through the night?
Shall we run it in a fight?
Shall we run it on our shins?
Shall we run it over pins?
Shall we run it with a ball?
Shall we run it down the hall?
Shall we run it with the kids?
Shall we run it wearing lids?

I think I’ll run with you ...
Will you run it with me too?

cd32: begins with a bang

Woke up at 3a, very disoriented, took a home pregnancy test. NOT PREGNANT it practically chirped after 3 torturous minutes. Hmm, maybe it’s just too early.

AF knocked on door around 10:35a with a perky bow and perfectly wrapped gift. Why thank you, thank you very much.

Around 11:30a I left a message for the doc and asked for one more cycle of Clomid 100mg, even though we’d agreed that this time she’d just do the referral to a fertility specialist. It was kind of a mixture of cold feet and desperation that maybe we missed last month’s ovulation cycle entirely due to a combination of the worst sex we’ve ever had and unfortunate family emergency circumstances. If she does honor my hail-mary attempt I may also buy those outrageously overpriced ovulation monitors for added assurance that we hit the date on the nose. I can hear the gasps already, but rest assured my doctor didn’t think it had been necessary up ‘til this point with the combination of 7 years of constant unprotected sex and 4 straight months of Clomid cycle. This is entirely my idea at this stage. Go figure. (Did you know my last 6 month workout regime and slightly better eating habits have finally gotten my blood pressure under control? But no baby, just ass kicking muscles.) Seriously, go figure on that too.

Mr. D is being very supportive. I did a first and actually pre-warned him that I was doing a HPT this morning. He’s been on graveyard and wouldn’t be home for the occasion. I’m also notorious for taking them in secret and than being upset for awhile, sometimes a few days into a new cycle, before letting him in on it. It’s just I’ve had to drag him through it for so long and he doesn’t know how to help. We got to bump into each other a few moments this morning and it was a nice send off hug.

I wish I could’ve hid under the bed all day but the ever increasing pile on my desk isn’t helping. We’re also in the middle of two new software launches with very little jumbled training. When it’s a fend-for-yourself, develop the new software and make it work environment it’s at least mentally stimulating for the 1st time in a long while.

By 3:30p the lovely and only slightly disagreeable doctor had returned my call. She is not going to issue the Clomid but strongly insisted on following up through a referral to a specialist. She did, however, think we should keep trying the following month or more in the mean time. She feels that the drugs helped restart my ovulation cycle and we may still be able to conceive. I think I'll go ahead and get that home ovulation tester and see if that's true.

I guess the good part of this whole mess is that I feel quite resigned at the moment and not utterly depressed. That could just be the early morning post-Burger King, pre-lunch break mood talking though. What did I tell you about only ‘slightly’ better eating habits? Remember calorie counting = self depravation and math. Neither should go with food.

project wrapup

The dino-pillar commissioned by my BFF's daughter El has been wrapped up and tucked into the mail.

And this little dino-pillar was tucked into a little satchel for her to lug around. Because we all know that little girls like little bags.

I also just wrapped this cute little car seat size baby blanket. It's a simple washcloth cotton yarn and I really love it.