So I was having this little chat with God on my way to work this morning when he stumbled me into an epiphany and a harsh ugly reality at that. I am a snarky bitch. (I don’t know why people think God wouldn’t call a spade a spade if the receiver doesn’t find it offensive.) I especially have this problem with always having to have one or two people that I consistently harp on. Doesn’t matter if they breathe, cross my path or don’t shave in the morning but for some reason they irritate the crap out of me. My problem especially lies in the fact that I dwell on it. I bitch, I harp, I whine, I nag, and very irrationally I might add, and generally drive my friends batty.
Yep, that sucks big time.
God brought up a good point and showed me a few things that I thought I should come clean with. Yea, he does like to do that when we least expect it. In my case it it’s in the middle of a huge hiatus from church or a consistent church family (still waiting to be discovered after 2 years in this corner of the world), and after a long dry spell of any inspirational music besides “I kissed a girl” by Katy Perry and “Mercy” by Duffy. Ok, so maybe the 2nd one is just as horrid as “Lips of an angel” by Hinder and gets stuck in your head just as bad. Don’t you love catching yourself singing the tune before you grasp the full lyrics of ‘I can’t believe that just came out of my mouth!’ So let’s bring the train back to the station, the little ooh-ah-my bad moments from this mornings drive.
(a) You don’t have to be angry with them just because you don’t like them. As mentioned in the movie Never Back Down (MMA video courtesy of MTV) by the wise mixed martial arts instructor, you are always responsible. You make the decision to change whatever situation you’re in, whether by attitude or action. God loves to get his point across in millions of tiny ways from bill boards to commercials to yes, MTV movies. Inspiration is divine and not always from a pew or Christian radio station, although could be both. So regardless of how irritated I am I can choose to be snippy and short or I can choose to ignore them like any other stranger in the world and get on with life. Or in a direct quote from my Em! because she hit the nail right on the heaad:
CHOOSE TO SEE THEM AS AN EXTENSION OF ME AS WE ARE ALL CONNECTED IN SOME WAY IN THIS WORLD AND NO STRUGGLE IS UNIQUE EVEN THOUGH EACH PERSON IS UNIQUE IN THEIR OWN EXPERIENCE (don't have to add my buddhist exatentialism but just thought I would give you my two cents;)
(b) GOD loves them. If my whole theory on life is based on that little truth that God is love then I should remember to treat people that way. I don’t have to be there best friend or even friend at all to remember that God loves them and so should I. That means if I don’t like them I shouldn’t harbor bitterness or envy but a nonchalant air perhaps like you do for the mail man or grocery clerk or financial institution. You wish the best and that can be good enough. If they were at their wits and needed something you’d try and help them and not spit on the burning embers of their shoes.
(c)
Why are you angry with them? I came to a bit of a startling revelation
on this. Anger comes from somewhere. If you look hard and deep enough
you’ll find that anger often comes from an injustice that for some
reason has skewed our opinion on the subject. I think I’m angry due a
slight bit of jealousy or envy. I think it’s really as simple as they
didn’t like me. That just doesn’t sit well. I’m so accustomed to being
the talkative gregarious person that can drive wall flies out of their
shelves and normally shy people into self revelation. When equally
friendly or aggressive people are consistently rude to me for no reason
or rebuff me I get a little offended and my fur just gets plain
ruffled. In the past I’ve made that mistake over soon-to-be really
great friends but in other instances I don’t let myself get over it
until they move away or just stay out of my circle of influence.
So
the morale of this little tirade: get over myself. If I can’t remember
that refer to steps A and B. If that’s too hard to remember call up the
best friends and ask them to please slap me silly until the point gets
through my big fat stubborn head.
