Dear Darla Diaries

who's it what's it

So my twin sister just called frantic. Her spouse just had an emergency appendectomy. Now she's got me all hot and bothered. Damnit I hate it when that happens. Dontcha hate it when family or friends can call you and instantly get ya all riled up? My kid tripped on his own two feet and did a header on a wall corner, got stitches. My kid got bit on his face by the neighbors dog and needed stitches. My dad is in the hospital with cancer and isn't doing well and I'm 10 hrs away from you. My pet died. My spouse graduated from tech school. My spouse just got deployed. I came down with Parkinson's and am overly medicated. Grrr. I know you know what I mean.

Do you have a pulse? If you do than you must totally get it. If you don't than I totally envy your cool calm exterior and want to be just like you when I grow up.

Just a little update: Thanks for any warm wishes sent my way. Mr. Brady was bundled back to his home after a quick removal of an unnecessary appendage and some antibiotics. Yea for happy pills! And yea for the getting better bro-in-law. Dude! It's not cool to give me a heart attack like that! I'm your Alice man!

blech blech blech

Have I mentioned my beloved MIL is in town? (And my MIL I mean Mr. D's mommy dearest extrordinaire) The gaming has commenced. She and Mr. Darla spend a good chunk of their free time mired up to their pretty necks in WoW and aggro and skills and instances and raids and quests. I'd be remiss if I didn't admit to playing a free hours Friday night and Saturday night when he was gone, good bonding time, but it's been utterly distracting nonetheless.

I had a great blog pieced together last night of the bits and pieces of our weekend. Little insightful insights and wits of wisdom. Blech, my brain feels like putty, I'm sorry but you'll have to wait for another day.

going green around the gills

1 scotts turf builder grass seed spray: $9.87
1 used 35' wooden edge trim @ garage sale: $15
10 bags of top soil: $20
7 bags of compost: $21
1 bag of yarn and hooks from yard sale: $10
1 bag of cotton yarn from wal-mart: $5
1 box of 24 zyrtec d: $22
1 24 pack of coors light to bribe husband with: $12

The look on Mr. D's face when his mother and wife get home after a four hour plus garden and greenery hunt: priceless

The look on his face when he unloads the above list from our four door sedan: slightly less than murderous

baked pasghetti pie

You know they love your food when they swarm around it like overweight malnourished kittens begging for the last drop in the gallon of milk.

Baked Spaghetti Pasghetti Pie
[Makes 1 11x17 baking dish]
Food:
2 lbs hamburger, cooked and drained
2 jars spaghetti sauce (cooks choice)
1 can rotel (stewed tomatoes with peppers)
3 cups shredded cheese
(I broken it down as 1.5 cups shredded parmesan
and 1.5 cups shredded cheddar) (Once again cooks choice)
2 lbs of long spaghetti noodles

Cookware:
1 large skillet
1 large pasta pot
1 glass 11x17 baking dish
1 broiler pan and tray or 1 cookie sheet

Other stuff:
Nonstick cooking spray or olive oil
Garlic powder
Italian Seasoning
Salt
Pepper
Butter or Margarine
1 loaf Thin Italian sliced bread

Cook It Up!
Brown hamburger and drain. Put hamburger back in skillet along with the spaghetti sauce and rotel. Toss in spices of choice (garlic, italian seasoning, salt and pepper perhaps?). Simmer on medium low heat while noodles cook.

Heat giant stock pot of water for 1.5 lbs of long noodles. Sprinkle salt and a dab of oil in water to keep noodles from sticking together. Bring water to boiling. Drop noodles in pot. Reduce heat to boil and cook for 8 to 10 minutes until al dente. Drain.

Pull sauce off heat. Set drained noodles and sauce on prep counter.

Heat oven to 350° Spray glass pan with nonstick cooking spray.

In pan layer noodles, sauce, 1/2 to 1 cup of cheese (I LOVE cheese. No really, I have "I love cheese" tattoo'd over my heart. Right next to "D-I-E-T is an evil word".) noodles, sauce, cheese and once again, spices of choice.

Cover the pan in foil and toss gently set in oven. Cook 20 minutes. (This will meld the flavors.)

While the pasghetti is cooking prep the garlic bread.

Spray cookie sheet or broiler pan with nonstick cooking spray. Place a flat layer of bread across the entire surface of the pan. Spread thin layer of butter on top of each piece of bread. Sprinkle whole pan with garlic salt, salt, butter and if you like parmesan cheese.

When pashetti is done remove from oven and switch oven setting to broil. Let heat for a few minutes than put bread in oven. The bread will only take a few minutes to toast. If you ignore it, it WILL burn. (I'm just saying, I might have killed a loaf or two.)

Voila!

Recipe feeds 4 starving adults and allows some leftovers for lunch or dinner the next day. All the peoples at the office will be so jealous.

myspace button spam

So my friend got me good and I had to share the mirth.

asphalt barbie

Spotted this little jem on a recent run. Looks like Barbie's had a bad day. Slightly resembles a CSI moment don't you think? All that's missing is the crime scene tape and sidewalk chalk.

acting shockingly cavalier

Since we've been married dozens of our friends have had babies. My father-in-law has had four, sister-in-law three (almost date for date with those two), twin sister two and good friends numerous. Have I mentioned my girlfriend on base popped three weeks ago? So that being said, I've determined that my sister-in-law and her bff being prego is no different than all the previous gestational periods. Just another bun in the oven and another person to crochet something cute for.

I refuse to let it depress me . I refuse to sit and dwell on it. I refuse to sit and count the days.OK, well I still have to count some days since I'm due for another blood test and a specialists referral.

Yesterday I had some of the best therapy. Little did Mia know she hit the nail right on the head. It came down to ice cream and a DVD with Mr. D. Juno. That's a one word answer for fantastic. I wouldn't have thought I could've found so much in common with a pregnant junior in high school. I love the dry comedy and wit and sarcasm. The one liners were like sweet cherries, crisp, sweet and tart.

Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you're done with it. Don't think it's your's just because you marked it with your urine! 

Juno: If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would, but I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea-monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.

Vanessa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno: Nah. I mean I'm already pregnant so what other kind of shenanigans can I get into?

Leah: Woah check out baby big head. That thing is freaky looking.
Juno: Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Bren MacGuff: Doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people suffer!

Bren MacGuff: [to the ultrasound technician] My five-year-old daughter could do that and she's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.

keep it simple stupid

I need to take lessons from Hobbes. It doesn't matter if I really just want to throw a big ole' pity party for one because I found out they're both prego. Pardon me while I mold and fester for the weekend. It's probably a good idea that Mr. D ran out the door at 11:45p with his tail between his legs a beer cooler under his arm, headed for the neighbors house and a drinking fit. Irregardless of the fact that all I wanted to do was punch him and call him bad words because I was feeling utterly abandoned, and he didn't have any answers. He couldn't. Irregardless of that, I'm not thinking logically. It's true, nothing good comes of me after 9 pm.

might not have been a good idea

~ when you can barely traverse the 32 stairs needed to get to and from your office time clock at least 4 times a day.
 
~ when you head to your basement to switch laundry loads and almost pitch down the stairwell, only saving yourself on the low arched ceilings and narrow walls.
 
~ when side walk curbs seem miles high to your throbbing thighs.
 
~ when you scuttle like a crab while walking instead of keeping a basic erect posture
 
~ when sitting down is done in a grab-the-armrests-and-lurch move instead of a graceful squat.
 
~ when you know the toilet seat is taunting you because you might land on it or you might collapse near it.
 
~ when your partner runs a finger across your leg muscle and you come off the bed/couch/chair like the house is on fire. Than you levitate off the furniture for a few seconds while the pain slowly releases it’s death grip on your seemingly atrophied muscles.
 
~ when you run 1600 meters, do 200 squat thrusts and it still hurts nearly a week later.

conversation fit for crossfit

shan: So I keep thinking about the fact that you have to have sex like every day for a week. How do you do it?

me: I know! Right? And just to make it harder I've decided we're going for two weeks straight to double our chances of not missing my ovulation cycles.

shan: Good gawd!

me: Yeah, we're trying to think of it like a marathon. I told him we can't have sex multiple times a day for the first few days or I'll be so sick of him I won't want to keep having it. And, if that's the case why did I jack myself up on the stronger Clomid in the first place!?!

shan: That must get so old! if Hots tried that I'd be beating him off with a stick!

me: Yea, I wish we were lazier. It's like trying to tell him that sometimes we can skip the foreplay and niceties and just be like wham-bam-thank-you-mam. But noo, once you have the history of great sex it's hard to convince him that "great" can be defined as many different ways including quick without a mindblowing O everytime.

shan: No doubt! You're like 'can you hand me that pen and paper? I'm just gonna whip out this grocery list while you take care of business.'

me: ZOMG seriously! It's like 'hey babe can you move you're blocking the way of my show.'

shan: tee hee hee.

me: To make matters worse I think I'm supposed to lay there like 20 minutes at least each time afterwards with my ass on a pillow or something. Now I have to prep the area with a book or magazine to kill time!

shan: Why don't you just do a headstand against a wall. Let gravity do the work!

me: I heard a doctor told Mr. D's co-worker to have sex with his wife, than flip her upside down and shake the shit out of it. That would get the job done.

shan: Ha! Shaken, not stirred.