"Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant" — Jim Cole
I miss my midwife *sigh*. And no you don't have to bear children to need one! (I use past tense since the military doesn't pay for them therefore causing be to go to a standard OBGYN.) The standard or at least impersonal military doctor just isn't as kind, gentle or loving when violating ones nether regions. All a girl asks is a little please and thank you not just a 15 second WHAM, BAM, JAM, THANK YOU MAM!
Perhaps I should back up a little bit? I visited the lady doc today in an effort to begin the Let's Have A Baby! or LHAB procedure. I was under the mis-impression that I would have my basic annual and testing and some further information into this murky world of fertilization, bloodwork, ovulation and the like. The first was really just a painfully brief probe and scrape and probe without a bit of foreplay. Lucky for me I did score a female doc but that only took the edge off for me to be able to be more agreeable when she suggested 'let's test you for chlamydia and gonorhea while we have you spread to help with the baby stuff.' Sure, go right ahead, what's another crunching scrape from my inner cavities. It's not a buffet people! The second was a 'please call again to make the next appointment where we can THEN discuss the baby birthing procedure.' Yes, because my full time job is really a hobby and can be sacrificed at random to fit into a narrow window of appointment availability.
Anyway, afterwards I morosely dragged my aching and slightly violated body back to my car to head to work and scream a little realizing that I had to choose to either fly off the high dive into the very inconvenient yet hopefully satisfying world of becoming a parent or scooch back to the safety of the procrastination nose bleed bleacher seats. The high dive which is also being flanked by my impending 29th birthday in May and the possibility of either a July 2008 or January 2009 husband deployment. I feel that if I wait until all the stressful military points are over that I'll never get pregnant! Stupid adult decisions. Stupid body that hasn't yet produced a baby with the ease of the rest of the other mass producing bored baby breeders on base. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Grrrr.
I've decided to close my eyes and jump. We'll never know until we try a little harder because the last six years of birth control-less very frequent sex obviously isn't cutting it.
My therapy in the mean time? I'm crocheting Choco-cat to join the mirage of my stuffed animals I love so much. After Choco-cat I'm thinking of starting a pile of baby blankets to donate to a local battered womens shelter or Deaconess Women's Hospital. Yarn is such a soothing figure to me. clickety-clack-clack.
Now if I could only get that tat ..
